A Rhythm to Walk In. 2025. SATB, piano, 10’. Commissioned by NEWVoices, Phillip Swan, Artistic Director & Conductor, and dedicated to them with the deepest admiration and gratitude. Premiered by them 25 Oct 2025, Lawrence Memorial Chapel, Appleton, WI.
Phillip Swan’s request for a new work to help open the 25/26 season of NEWVoices came with a twist. He had just been diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease, and would like my work to address this incurable neurological condition in some way. I normally avoid “message” works but did start to look for texts that might satisfy both Phillip and me, when my wife Jackie, as is often the case, found poems for me to consider.
They uncannily spoke to the situation, and they were by Robert Lax, whom I’ve set in The Arc in the Sky and my son my son. From bafflement to determination to morbid humor to patience to a peaceful hope, Robert Lax’s words inspired me yet again. I found them to be perfect for the situation, and NEWVoices agreed. I composed settings for the first four.
And then I was diagnosed with cancer. To avoid a long story I’ll only say that for the past few years I’ve gone from doctor to doctor to try to explain growing, mysterious afflictions. Lyme Disease, hypothyroidism, Hashimoto’s Disease and more were looked at. Symptoms tumbled over each other, from numb, unworkable hands to a swollen tongue to weak muscles. When my health geometrically worsened in May, timely advice from a friend’s doctor friend, and a visit to an ear, nose, and throat specialist proved the breakthrough. She took one look in my mouth, said it was one of the worst cases of oral thrush she had ever seen, and told us to drive straight to the University of Pennsylvania Hospital’s emergency room. That’s when they discovered multiple myeloma. It was the 24th of July.
Once I was out of ICU (the second time; I almost died twice, they tell me), Jackie began to answer emails sent my way. Our daughters put together a Facebook post briefly explaining what had happened to me. And I asked Jackie to send my four settings to NEWVoices. The deadline for the piece was Labor Day; I thought that—not knowing what would happen to me—they should at least have what I’d finished.
Phillip couldn’t have been more understanding, saying that they’d call it good with just the four. But I was determined to try to compose number five, so Jackie brought in some manuscript paper once I was strong enough to sit up. One afternoon, with a hand barely able to hold a pencil, I scrawled out ideas. A good friend engraved the two pages for me. Then, with my music software now installed on my laptop, thanks to another friend and our youngest daughter, I set about composing the final song. After editing the entire piece, I sent it to NEWVoices. It was a couple of weeks past Labor Day, but I’d told them what I was up to. They had already been rehearsing and were up and running.
Composed when the bottom was falling out of my health, A Rhythm to Walk in is as much autobiography as anything else. The ideas and moods are as minimal and primary-color as I could make them, to match Lax’s poetry and the bedrock, essential emotions I not only imagined for this commission but in this case, felt.
As I write, it’s the seventh of October. I’m transferring from acute to subacute rehab today. My numbers look terrific. I should be home in a few weeks. All gratitude to Phillip Swan, Valerie Simonsen, NEWVoices, the doctors, nurses, and staff at Penn, Marcia Kelly of the Lax Estate for permission, Paul Spaeth of the Lax Archives at St. Bonaventure University for textual correction, to all my friends who wrote, encouraged, cheered, prayed, visited, and thought of me during this time. Our prayers are with Phillip.
Our daughters (with their husbands) have volunteered to take over innumerable tasks (meals, transportation, social media, emails, cats) to help me and Jackie; we can’t thank them or love them enough. To Jackie I’m forever indebted. She visits almost every day and has put her life on hold, with countless hours on the phone to doctors and administrators, to asking questions I’d never think of, to checking and re-checking all my numbers and holding doctors’ feet to the fire, to encouragement: to loving me in this worst of times. Finally, to the Lord above, who is to be glorified in all things, all praise.
1.
he sat
on the edge of his bed
all night
day came
& he continued to sit there
he thought he would never be able
to understand
what had happened
2.
not
so
much
finding
a
path
in
the
woods
as
find
ing
a
rhythm
to
walk
in
3.
the angel came to him & said
I’m sorry, mac, but
we talked it over
in heaven
& you’re going
to have to live
a thousand years
4.
be
gin
by
be
ing
pa
tient
with
your
self
la
ter
you
can be
pa
tient
with
oth
ers
(name
of
the
game
is
pa
tience.)
5.
one word at a time.
I believe
I believe
that all people
should stop their fight;
I believe that one should
blow a whistle or
sing or play
on the
lute